Doubt and Doubt
Notes / 24 Jun, 2026, Malaga
This year, while working on a new series and stepping away from the characters around me, I found myself focusing on frames where I have time, a deliberate slow down of still life shots. Space that exists solely between myself and the camera. For a long time, I couldn't verbalize the emotion. I lacked the noun to describe this new process. But with time, it became entirely clear: the word was doubt.
A process built fundamentally on doubt is, apriori difficult for the brain to accept as something pleasant. Every time you step out onto the street, you have no idea what you are looking for, merely seeking a foothold, a visual hook where a trigger exists for the thoughts currently drifting through you. Because of this, the vast majority of internal resources are spent on self reflection, rather than on calculating the frame or perfecting the composition. Interestingly, at the beginning, my motivation was driven by actively scanning the environment in search of a shot. As I adapted to this new visual language, I began spending more energy on internal observations, leaving my eyes to simply catch whatever they naturally snagged onto. During a mentorship session with Taras Bychko, we talked about how somewhere in the subconscious, an imprint remains of that deep-seated need to search. The visuals will come.This imprint evolves through the practice of the frames already captured, and through the sheer volume of time already invested into emotion of doubt.
The biggest progress in this case lay not in the final images obtained, but in the capacity to endure doubt, to inhabit it completely during the act of shooting, and to accept uncertainty as a rewarding part of the process. Intentionally hunting for visual metaphors that match your internal state usually only accelerated personal irritability. To relinquish control, to allow yourself to exist alongside the camera in a state of "I don't know what I am photographing," and to truly embrace that condition.
The real gift is that more images reveal themselves precisely when you remain open to the unknown. The internal state simply layers itself onto new objects. For some reason, the good indicator for me at the end of the day is delusional confidence that things are in place; in terms of personal progression in this craft, and future quests ahead.
Andrii